It is said that our destiny is already written. We are just following what is already directed. The script is already written we are just actors who are narrating the dialogues.
In this movie called life where everyone is Some one with no importance despite being in the lead role infact we donot realise that there is no actual lead role. Every one has his or her own agenda in life. Every one's aspirations conflict with every one, so much so that we are more bothered about how to spoil others aspiration instead of building are own. Ironically most endeured aspirations contradict with the aspirations of the most loved ones. And the director laughs at it and the anticlimax begins to draw its curtains. And bamm!!!! the life catches you off guard in a cross road.
If destiny is pre written then why does life brings us again and again to the place where your loved ones are to be given assurance how much you love them, or care for them. Why is it that of all the people in the world your loved ones want a sacrifice at every stage to prove that you are worthy of there love?
The emotional turmoils that follow after crossing these cross roads are so excruciating and abhorring that you start loosing the flavour of happiness in life. The milestones that are crossed are epitaphs of something or some one you really loved.Its either your loved one's relation that is rests in those tombs or its your aspiration.
They say to win the war you have to loose few battles. That’s right; but how much thought is given to the soldiers who are slaughtered in the front line of battles which were never meant to win? So what if few people are crucified, the General gets stars on his shoulders and medals on his chest anyway.
I have been reading this book of life from last 28 years, in search of destiny; ironically it brings me to the same old crossroad and laughs at me. As Metallica song goes " Here I am on the road again, Here I am up on the stage, There I go to be a star again, There I go to turn the page." I have been trying to turn a new leaf at every cross road. Giving the best performance that I can. In the end I always figure that I am Unique like every one else. Iam lead star like every one else. And no matter how I perform in the end it really doesnt matter.
When I turn back the pages of my life, I see I have attained nothing but emptiness in life. Talk everything under the sun...... but when I see myself in the mirror I see a hypocrite, a looser and a non-achiever.
I kept comparing my self to be a lone ship trying to find its shore. Little did I realise Ships never stays at shore. It has to keep moving and one day sink into the depths of the oceans. I can feel that day is not very far. Because I already see the holes in my ship. Its just a matter of time when the captain surrunders to cyclones of life. And destiny will bring me to that very place where my end is written and I would sink onto the darkness and fade away.
3 comments:
You judge yourself too harsh my dear. Let others who see you, tell you the truth:
1. You have come a long way career wise. You may laugh at this, but whatz the use of doing something you were born good at??? Thatz a part most of us 'cowards' chose. You chose a path that does not come naturally to you, (finance, number crunching), and actually went on to become really good at it! Wow, trust me on this... You Amaze all of us. So first step, LEARN TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF FIRST.
2. None of us have seen a guy who loves his family so much, like you do. We all do. But not the way you reverently and piously do it. There is a saying ‘There is a time when the bird flies away from its nest’…and its one of the truest sayings, every parent, every child should understand and accept.
“Why is it that of all the people in the world your loved ones want a sacrifice at every stage to prove that you are worthy of their love?”… Love needs not to be proven all the time. They don’t need you to prove that you love them all the time. You need to take that flight… fly away from your nest… common take that plunge… Your loves ones, will love you anyway…! That’s love. Trust their love, my dear. Don’t doubt it. Love never fails.
3. Don’t look at your life like a struggle. It’s a blessing …It’s fun…. The smiles, laughter, joy, pain, tears, aches, bitterness, hurt, betrayal, pride, shame…….. whew! Thatz what makes it interesting!
With all due respect to monks in monasteries, do you want that same routine, monotonous, no surprise life that they live???
So not you Zia ...........!! just a phase may be ..which passed by ...and left you much stronger and mature..(since ur ship s still on water and sailing) ......
Hi Sonam, Love to cruise though..... instead ofa cargo ship.....
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